A New Beginning

Who is that person I see staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Somehow I cannot hide who I am though I've tried. When will my reflection show? Who I am inside? A dream that ended too soon so now I know exactly who I am and what I'm here for. All the things I thought I'd be, all the brave things I'd done vanished like a snowflake with the rising of the sun never more to sail my ship. Out among the stars I sail, way beyond where no man has gone before but at the end I will go sailing no more.

I made a choice and I'm going to live with that decision no matter what. I can see there's so much to learn. I see myself as people see me. I wanna know, every gesture, every movement cause me to think of this growing need to change. I'm grateful that I'm known as the good/nice guy but these emotions I never knew of some other world far beyond my own place. Can you feel the things I feel right now? It doesn't matter anymore. I've lived a life that’s full. I've traveled each and every highway and more, much more than this, but this time I want to do this my way. I want to plan each charted course. Of each careful step along the byway, but even after this I would be proud that I did it my way. Yes there were times for sure when I bit off more than I could chew. But through it all, when there was doubt, I ate it up and spit it out. I faced it all and I stood tall; and did what I can for my family. I loved, I laughed and cried. I had my moment, my share of losing and now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing. To think I did all that but not in a shy way, no oh no not me anymore I want to do it my way. For what is a man, what has he got to change if not himself than whom? To say the things he truly feels; and not the words of one who kneels. Let the record show after today when I take my final bow I want everyone else to know that I’m ready to do it my way!

Don't worry my kindness and generously would remain but the rest of me will forever be new again. “Once you choose hope, anything's possible”. So I will end it with this:

Irish prayers

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
I don't want to say goodbye so instead
I'll see you later my friend.